Seasons of Life

Life has its seasons just as nature so wonderfully displays for us to enjoy and learn from. Considering the harsh winter that is still fresh in our bones, as well as our minds is a real reminder of our recent winter experience. I have noticed a variety of responses to the long winter that vary from “finally, it’s over”, “I want to move to a warmer climate”, “I miss the sun”, “I hate it here because of the cold winters” and “I wish it stayed winter all year---I love snowmobiling”.   Seasons will change as our lives shift and change with a new job, a child, a new relationship or trying to lose the few extra winter pounds from lack of exercising as much.

Some people thrive with change and see the adventure in it, while others despise any small or significant change to their routine or their life in general. I believe we are defined as to how we deal with change in our lives. ‘Stress’ and change go together like peanut butter and jelly. All significant changes, good or bad, cause tension (stress). Significant stressors that rate very high on ‘stress scales’ are moving, death of family/friend, job change, relationship change (marriage, divorce), or having a baby.  Even positive stress is still stress and can impact you considerably. It is important to note that change can take over a year for us to work through any of the life changes stated above. So if you find that you continue to struggle with these adjustments you may consider talking to someone about it.

Some of the best ways to deal with change (even thrive) you may consider:

Ø  Asking a friend to talk to and share with---during a walk or for coffee/tea.

Ø  Exercise 3 or more times/week, even walking for 20 minutes can have a significant impact.

Ø  Get good sleep and use good sleep habits

Ø  Find a hobby that may interest you

Ø  Eat healthy versus junk food

Ø  Explore different aspects of the area—parks, lakes/rivers, farmer’s market, etc.

David Sliefert, MA, LPC

Partner/Owner

New Endings

New Endings




This picture hangs in our waiting room at Charis Counseling.
It reads, "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, 
               but anyone can start today and make a new ending."


Spring is a time for new life. The birds are singing again. The grass is green, the buds are on the trees and the flowers are showing signs of life.

This winter was a rough one for those of us in Central Wisconsin. It was long, cold, and seemed like it would never end. Sometimes seasons of our life feel like a winter, but there are times for new endings. It doesn't always have to be winter. Letting go of the past and having renewed hope for a new season, new opportunities, and new life can happen for us at any time. It begins with acceptance of the winter which then leads to choices for a new season, courage for change, and hope for a life filled with joy and a new ending to our story.

Maybe Charis Counseling can help you get started on that journey.

Rick Jass, MA, LPC
Professional Counselor/Life Coach

January 2014

Resolutions for Life

As we near the end of this first month of 2014, what better topic to blog about than New Year resolutions? January is traditionally a time of promises and good intentions. Many of us make resolutions to improve ourselves in some way. Get fit, get active, lose weight, do more of this and less of that.

Do you have something you want to achieve in 2014? Perhaps the best place to start is with a gentle mind-set. Attitude is everything, or so the saying goes. Positivity breeds positivity, negativity breeds negativity. People who struggle with anxiety and depression typically have a way of thinking about things which “feeds” that anxious or depressive thought. If your internal voice tends to be negative, full of self-reproach and put downs, or full of “worst case scenario what ifs,” you most likely are not going to feel very good about yourself, which impacts choices, behaviors, and progress towards one’s goals.

Please note, I am not suggesting that clinical depression and anxiety are simply issues of mind over matter. [Anxiety and depression have chemically based origins which are often very well treated through a combination of medication and psychotherapy.] What I am suggesting is that all of us can use cognitive tools and positive strategies to meet goals we set for ourselves, and to live a more balanced and emotionally healthy life overall.

How so, you ask? My number one rule is, “Be kind to yourself.” Don’t talk to yourself in a way you would never talk to anyone else. Do you have a younger sibling or a child or a dear friend? Ask yourself if you would ever speak to them the way you speak to yourself. If the answer is “no,” then that is a place to start. Be your own cheerleader, not your worst critic. We can hold ourselves accountable for our choices and behaviors without being abrasive and harsh. Embrace your imperfections. They make us human.

I will leave you with a few of my favorite quotes. Interpret and apply them as you see fit, and from all of us at Charis, may you have a happy and blessed New Year.

Jennifer Starkey, MA, LMFT

Jen’s personal favorites:

“If you always do, what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always gotten.” - (source unknown)

“Promise me you will always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” -Christopher Robin to Pooh

“What if the opposite of good wasn’t bad? What if the opposite of good was real?”

--from Poser: My Life in 23 Yoga Poses, by Claire Dederer