Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all of us at Charis Counseling.

In Everything Give Thanks

In Everything Give Thanks

I recall taking on the challenge to write down on a few pieces of paper the things for which I am thankful. My initial thought was that this wouldn't be that difficult or take long. I try to be a thankful person (I thought) so I confidently started to write down the usual things like—thanks for my family, friends and my faith that gives me hope and passion in life. After a pause I continued thanking for our comfortable home, a car that runs well (even though 14 yrs old), food in our cupboards, our health, and our golden doodle (mix of golden retriever and poodle) that wiggles his entire body and seeks me out with such excitement each time I arrive home. 

Then after adding a few more thoughts, thank you for the beauty of the trees, the fabulous artistry of the colorful fall leaves falling and blowing around and the unique glow of a fall sunset. Then I hit the wall as if I had just ran out of things to be thankful for. While part of me felt good, even content with my list thus far I wasn't the least bit satisfied with my accomplishment. I was a bit stunned at my loss of thought. I took a break and walked away from this assignment to clear my head while constantly thinking about “what I am truly thankful for.” 

I had done this before, over ten years ago and I couldn't seem to think, so I went outside and walked around with our dog Tanner who seems to be so curious about everything around him (ie. a blowing leaf, different animal sounds or the possibility of high excitement to run after a squirrel he will never catch).  He always seems to bring a smile to my face. I recalled a bible verse, “all good things come from above” (James 1:17) that gave comfort. Then it started to snow and it reminded me of a story about Louie Armstrong, arguably the greatest jazz trumpet player ever. He was in between sets playing and had been feeling down, sensing that he was stuck and couldn't seem to create new music, which he is so well known for. Then as he gazed out the window as large snowflakes started to fall and he reached out and examined one, then another and looked intently at the unique designs of each. Not one is like the other and as he gazed up and saw hundreds more falling his thoughts changed towards thankfulness for the realization of the limits he placed on himself. He performed with the passion he so often was noted for and was re-energized. As I sat down and began adding to my list numerous thoughts flowed readily onto to the paper and quickly surpassed my initial, rather surface thoughts on what I am thankful for.

What I found out in the upcoming days and weeks afterwards while I was still actively adding to my list—I found that I was happier, challenges weren't as difficult and I was more enjoyable to be around. I had more energy, slept better and was more curious about the new things I would learn and started to dream about the future ahead of me. So I try to challenge others to be thankful in all things for when we truly thankful we shift from a me focus to a larger perspective of our life.

Blessings to all this Thanksgiving,
David Sliefert, MA, LPC

Professional Counselor

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Thanksgiving

In his book "One Way Love," Tullian Tchividjian writes, "A grateful heart is a generous heart, and a generous heart is a liberated heart." Gratitude is where we start to have perspective in our lives and remind ourselves of the positive things that we can be thankful. In 2011, The New York Times published an article stating that feelings of gratitude have "been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners." Dr. Michael McCullough, a psychologist from the University of Miami is quoted as saying, "More than any other emotion, gratitude is the emotion of friendship."

As you focus on preparations for the Thanksgiving meal and time with family that may or may not be pleasant, keep in mind the things you can be thankful. Your gratitude for those things will help you with perspective for those other stressors in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Rick Jass, MA, LPC
Professional Counselor/ Life Coach

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Vision

A few weeks ago I was driving to a concert in Madison, WI (a 2 hour drive from my home) with 7 high school students in a Suburban. In Wisconsin the weather can change quickly and as I left home there was a light wintery mix. The closer we came to Madison, however, the weather worsened and became a winter storm. We enjoyed the concert and then started the journey home. The 8 of us left the concert at 11:00 PM. The snow had accumulated to 6 inches, the roads were snow covered and slippery, often only one lane. As I slowly made my way home in these treacherous conditions, I was reminded of the importance of vision.

The first part of my vision was to know where I was headed- Home. But this only helps me in my long term goal. Most of my vision was focused on the road in front of me. I couldn't keep my sights on home the whole time, that was too far away. But it gave me hope, too, because if I thought I was driving in that snow storm forever, it would have changed my perspective in a negative way. I knew that if I kept moving in the right direction and focused on the challenges directly in front of me that I would make it. Only once in a while would I need to look in the rear view mirror to briefly check behind me and reflect on the progress I was making. Eventually, over 3 hours later, we made it safely home.

Life can be like this. We, first of all, need vision in where we are going. This gives us the direction we need and it gives us the goal that we need to continue. We have lots of challenges in front of us and overcoming each challenge as it comes is our immediate focus. Sometimes we want to spend too much time looking in the rear view mirror; regretting our past or over focusing on it. Reflecting on where we have been can be helpful to encourage us as to how far we've come, but we have to look out the windshield of our life far more than the rear view mirror.

The apostle Paul says it this way in the book of Philippians (3:13-14) "...but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

The vision that we have day to day, can make a huge difference on the progress we make. Where is your vision today?

Rick Jass, MA, LPC
Professional Counselor
Charis Counseling, LLC